Unlike most fans of the show Insecure, I waited until the last episode aired to start watching the series. I don’t know if I was afraid that they would totally miss the mark on black womanhood or if I was afraid that they would get it right and I’d see my pathetic life, in some capacity, played out on television. When I finally sat down to watch the show, I binged the entire series in finished it in one night.
My initial reaction to the character Molly, Issa’s desperately single friend, was that she was annoying as fuck. She came off as thirsty and overly self conscious when it came to her relationship prospects. With her career, Molly was a total boss. She knew how to adapt in every situation, when to speak up, and how to play her role. Her confidence was inspiring. Her love life, or lack thereof, was more comparable to an aging cat lady grasping at the few, scant men around to give her any sort of attention. As soon as she got her claws into a man, she would jump right into fantasies about marriage and introductions to the families before even knowing his last name. In her friendships, work environment, and general life; Molly was able to take her time and move at a reasonable pace. With men, however, it was either we fucking and getting married today or you can get the steppin’!
After the initial distaste for the character, I came to a sad realization. Many single, successful, career driven black women can relate to Molly’s character when it comes to trying to forge a thriving romantic relationship. In our careers, we are confident and secure. When it comes to relationships, however, we are speeding through trying to find the one that coincides with our life the way everything else seems to. When Molly finally met a guy that wasn’t sprinting away from her broken pussy, she dumped him over (what I think) a minor diversion from his past. When she dated Jidenna’s character, he wasn’t down for a commitment after a weekend of being laid up and before their union had a chance to even blossom, she cut him off.
As a young, black, single(ish) woman that has a budding career, I totally get her. I totally understand how frustrating dating can be when everything in your life seems to be where you want it to be or a manageable distance away. Wasting a year here, 2 years there on a man that, in the end, won’t be who you thought he was (ahem looking at Issa) is squandering away valuable time.
In the same breath, Molly is dating in a time where valuable women that have their shit together are intimidating rather than motivating. Many of her men were guys that were on her level financially, mentally, and physically but still couldn’t see her as a person worthy of committing to. Relationships are considered a level of commitment comparable to marriage in the dating world today. Molly being honest and open about what she was looking for and her expectations, albeit a wee bit aggressive, was met with fear and several ignored texts. When she finally found someone that was willing to take it there with her, she had to choose between her desire to be wifed up and her idea of standards.
It is a sad truth but I am Molly but this pussy aint broken.