For the purpose of this article and praying that this guy never reads this, we will refer to him as Jason. Some of the unimportant details have been changed to protect me– I mean his identity.
About 3 months ago, I noticed Jason at a place that I frequented a couple times a week. He was tall, handsome, and just had this glow about him. Eventually, after admiring him from a far, I decided to contact him on social media because I knew that, if I wanted to talk to him, I had to make the first move so I did.
His reaction was a mix of surprise and arrogance. He was surprised that I was interested in him, of all people. He then became arrogant as fuck and decided that, since I went through all of that effort to reach out to him, my infatuation with him was limitless.
From that moment, I could hear the bottle of lemonade twist open as it all began.
PROLOGUE: A WOMAN’S INTUITION
Jason and I started getting to know each other and the first thing he told me was that he never lied which I found odd because he said it so often. It was almost as if he was reassuring himself that he could tell the truth if he really put his mind to it. He also unloaded a caravan of baggage which included a crazy baby mama, an ex fiance (as in 4 months ago ex) that he was still obviously in love with, and an affinity for running the streets and drinking. Yes, I can feel your judgement through the screen. At this point, my woman’s run now intuition was creeping up my spine but I brushed it off and decided I would just enjoy the ride.
As the days went on, Jason was coming by to see me almost daily, we were making out in his car, we were just grooving and I was really feeling him. I also felt like I was unlike anyone he’d ever dated before and, though I knew his ex and drama were lingering, I just knew he wasn’t going anywhere.
Then, one day Jason came bye to see me before heading out. He was sweet and made those gushy everything is so perfect feelings bubble up inside of me. Everything was perfect. Later that night, while we were texting, he totally flipped on me out of no where. He was incredibly short and said he didn’t want me to hit him up ever again. Just like that. He literally said “Are we clear”? I am almost certain that was his ex bae texting me on his phone. I was fucking hurt mainly because I couldn’t understand why he’d been so rude. The next day he text me, again, and asked to meet up. I took a screen shot of our previous messages, circled when he said to never talk to him again, and sent that as a response. I ain’t sorry. Nigga nah.
You know, my mother and her mother and her mother dealt with countless low life lying ass men that only sought them out to feed their own hungry egos. My own father cheated on my mother and I have a half brother that is 2 months older than me. Go on, try to do that math. What I am willing to accept from a man is a learned behavior that I’ve been trying to unlearn most of my adulthood.
After Jason’s random blow up, I finally decided to hear him out. He fed me some bullshit that he was in his feelings about his ex and I didn’t do anything to cause it. I allowed him back into my life, started seeing him again, and felt like maybe that was just a random hiccup. Maybe we can find a way to move pass him being a total asshole. For a few days, it seemed like he was actually making an effort to mend what he’d broken. And then, like a light switch, he totally shut down. He stopped responding to texts as often, he wouldn’t call, never came by, and made me feel like I was bothering him. When I would fall back, he would push forward just enough to suck me back in. It became clear that the time I spent opening up to him, getting to know him, and just getting involved in the emotional roller-coaster that was Jason was all for nothing. I severely regretted crossing that line. At the end, I asked him what was going on and why he’d become so distant. He simply said that he was working out some issues. I said ok and just like that, it was over.
At the end of Lemonade, Beyonce comes to a realization that relationships aren’t perfect and sometimes you have to take the lemons that life has thrown you and make lemonade. I’ve only known this idiot 3 weeks so I took his sour lemon head ass and learned that everyone is not worth compromising for. That lesson was enough lemonade for me for a while.