Where I met *Rodger and why I decided to give him a chance when I knew deep down in my soul that he was simply going to waste my time is only a small, insignificant detail of this tale.
At the time, I was just out of an on again, off again relationship. I was vulnerable. Looking back, I’d like to think that I wouldn’t have ignore these glaring fuck boys signs if I was in a more stable emotional place.
In the beginning, Rodger was like a prince charming. He would offer to drive me places, ask about my day, tell me how interesting and beautiful I was. He filled gaps in my romantic life that I hadn’t noticed were even there. I do have to preface this story with the fact that I was not ever physically attracted to him which I know now is a problem for me. I don’t feel bad for saying that because he told me that he too was concerned about my physical appearance. He said I would have a body of a goddess if I could just lose that midsection belly fat.
Still, I thought I could look over his appearance and into his heart. I mean, I tried dammit!
About 2 months into getting to know each other, Rodger started to show his fuck boy ways. At the time, I had limited free time. I am a mom first so I could only hang out when my son was with his dad which was on specific days during the week. Predictable days. I would invite him out for drinks, invite him to watch a movie, and to just hang out during my free time. His excuses to not hang out extended from “I have to catch up on reading some articles” to “Oh, I just fell asleep from 5:30 to now, 11 pm”.
It was absolutely confusing. I was thinking, did he not like me? Was I coming on too strong? Was he not into women?
Oh, but it gets worse. Eventually, he would agree to plans. I would text him like:
Do you wanna do happy hour?
He would respond
I would hit him up around 6 pm, no answer.
7 pm: No answer.
9 pm: No answer.
I would then go to bed and wake up to a text saying, damn… I fell asleep. This happened so often that I was concerned that he was narcoleptic or something. Like who needs that much sleep? Who reads that many articles?
We did end up hanging out 3 times. One of those times, he dropped me off and we sat in that awkward silence with baited breath trying to figure out what to do next. Nothing. That is what happened next. He made up a flimsy excuse about why he couldn’t (not didn’t want to) kiss me goodnight. That first kiss did come later on down the line. It was the moment that I realized that we would never work. When he kissed me, it felt like I was being attacked by a rabid raccoon. He seemed hungry, like he hadn’t touched a woman in far too long. His lips on mine was like a 5 lb brick being dropped on my face.
Just as I would start to pull away and get fed up with the bullshit, he would try to pull me back in. Ask me out with baseless plans that would never come into fruition. It was draining.
In between the lack of follow through, he was completely obsessed with talking about himself. I knew his entire life story. From conception onward. Every time we talked, he felt the uncontrollable urge to teach me something. He would send me links about why coffee was bad for me or why I should use honey instead of sugar or why black women are more likely to be overweight and fat after childbirth and are riddled with STDs.
It was unbelievable. After a while, I found it entertaining to see a real life misogynistic fuck boy with my own 2 eyes.
Now, I still see him with little to no conversation. He is dating someone that when I asked what she’s like he said “beautiful”. I wish him all the best and am so thankful that he was so tired.