Growing up, I knew that beauty in my community came in the form of a fair skinned, straight haired, racially ambiguous goddess. I knew, subconsciously that my body was my worth. I understood that men were stronger and smarter than I could ever be. It was clear that my potential stopped just pass my waist, right above my knees. This didn’t have to be explained to me because I was methodically taught what it means to be a little black girl.
But, ya know what? It is about time we stop teaching our little black girls these lessons that improperly prepare them to be black women.
Our best assets are behind us
We are more than our curves. We are taught that our bodies are our everything. It is the way to success, love, and happiness. We are more than ass, though. Black women are educated, creative, bright, and can offer much more than a good twerk.
Don’t be too loud
Loud is not synonymous with ignorant. Black women are stereotyped as loud and boisterous and are often told to take it down, keep quiet. Well you know what, I am confident when I speak so I shout it out.
L O U D L Y.
Without a man, you are nothing
Men (our men usually) love to remind little black girls how important it is to grow up and attach themselves to a man. A single man is a bachelor, living it up. A single black woman is a lonely spinster. Black women don’t have to marry or commit to anyone if they don’t choose to and still have an amazing life.
You have to choose between love and success
Listen up little black girls, you can be highly educated and successful AND have love. The tricky part is finding the man that is intrigued instead of intimidated by your levels.
Your sexuality makes you a hoe
Your vagina is yours to do whatever the hell you want with. Give it out, keep it closed, share it with hundreds, share it with no one. That is all up to you and no matter what, you are still worthy of love.
Single motherhood is failure
Women all over the world end up raising their children while not being in a committed with the father. They are not failures. If that ends up being you, you will not be a failure.
Talking, being, and passing as white is the goal
As a little black girl, people would constantly think they were complimenting me with telling me how white washed I seemed. That has never been my goal. Stop telling little black girls they sound white. Replace white with educated, beautiful, interesting, or funny when you are complimenting little black girls.
They have good hair
What is bad hair? I’ll wait.
Speak gently to our little black girls. Raise them up with pride. Treat them like the jewels that they are. Tell them that they are beautiful and smart. Tell them that they can have whatever they want. Tell them that the world is theirs. Tell them that you love them. Tell them that they are worthy of love. Prepare them to be strong, loving, happy black woman.