I am going to be very clear for a moment with you all;
I am a very angry black woman and mother and I will never apologize for that. I am not angry because my welfare check was late. I am not angry because my baby daddies don’t want to see my illegitimate children. I am not angry because I want to sit on my ass while the government (by way of the taxes of hard working people) pays my way through life.
No. I am angry because I have to worry myself into a tizzy about the survival of my son when he becomes a 6’2″ black man in America. I am angry because of the assumptions automatically placed on me when I walk into a room. I am angry because I can be presumed a threat if I raise my voice 2 octaves above normal. I am angry because there is no black privilege. I am angry because I have to deal with racism every fucking day of my life and worse than that, my son does and he will get to an age where I can’t protect him. I am fucking angry because I have to sit my son down one day and explain to him how to be black in America and live. I am an angry black mother because I have to be afraid of my son growing up. Like, who the hell is afraid of their child growing up? Literally feels sick to their stomach at the thought of it?
Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner, Kendrick Johnson, and Kalief Browder are news stories for others and warnings for what is to come for me.
But, through my anger, I have to still go to work and my son’s school and the grocery store and so on. I have to interact with other people that have already decided that I am an angry, sassy, neck rolling ignorant black woman. I have to stand up to giant stereotypes every single day. But how?
- I write here for my readers. This blog is the reason why I don’t curse out half of the people that say very inappropriate, racially insensitive things to me on a daily basis.
- I act as an ACTIVE member of the black community. I don’t sit on my ass complaining about the white man while waving my fist in the air. I speak up, mentor, donate, and raise my son to be a functioning part of our community instead of another mouth to feed. If you aren’t doing something, shut up.
- I educate the ignorant folk. This is not exclusive to racists and people that are insistent that racism has been eradicated (also known as colorblind). This includes the black people that think speaking white is a compliment or living in the ghetto is synonymous with black or that they are better than because they have a home in a mostly white neighborhood or fetishize mixed children.
I am probably going to be an angry black woman and mother for the rest of my life. I am actually pissed the hell off. I am sad and disheartened by the disgusting way I am treated for being black. I am infuriated that more white parents aren’t teaching their children diversity (d-i-v-e-r-s-i-t-y) and therefore raising miniature racists that will live in the same generation as my baby. It is exhausting. It really is.
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