Dear mean black girls,
You know who you are. The black chicks from my new school, new job, or a general social gathering. The ones that intensely stare me down as I walk across the room or whisper to each other about what they think I am like. The ones that make it a nerve wrecking experience to go to an event where I know there will be mainly black women. The ones that never accepted me no matter how much I tried and made me feel like an ostrich– yes, an ostrich.
In middle school, you purposely scared the living shit out of me. I literally went home on a daily basis and cried hysterically because you and your friends said that I needed my ass beat because I walked around like I thought I was cute. My presumed cuteness pissed you off. It has always blown my mind because cute was the last adjective I would use to describe myself in middle school. Tall, lanky, awkward, too skinny, with a hanging bottom lip and crazy lisp. None of that sounds cute. But, turns out, you hated the thought of me thinking that I was remotely appealing because YOU already thought so highly of me. Really, it was flattering.
And to the ones that I came across in high school that said that I talked like a white girl because they heard me say all of 2 sentences, in English class, about the Canterbury Tales. What was I suppose to say and sounding semi intelligent in a non casual setting like an educational institution is not sounding white. That is called speaking. Maybe if you took 5 minutes to actually speak to me at maybe lunch or a party you would know the real, not-in-a-classroom-setting me.
And finally, to the mean black girls that refused to speak to me at every new job I have ever started in my life because they have felt threatened by me, thank you. Be threatened because I actually do think I am cute, and smart, and funny, and talented, and I’ve worked real hard to finally be able use those words to describe myself.
With every group of mean black girls that have forced me into groups where I am the token black chick, there are at least 2-3 black women that become some of my best friends. We are ostriches together.