I work in an office and if I had to take a guess, there is a good number of black folk in here with me as well. Let me also preface this by saying that I have never worked in an office before because I am more of a butterfly, not really into being weighed down by the cement block that is my desk.
During my time in an office setting, I have met a myriad of black folk.. oh my black folk. And I think after sufficient people watching, I have narrowed down the 7 different groups. Here we go:
The Black Women All the White Folks Are Scared Of:
Whether they are loud, have resting bitch face, or are generally not in the mood to hear about your vacation to Bora Bora (literally all me), these women scare the shit out of everyone else in the office. In actuality, it is likely that they are really nice and super sweet but just have no interest in talking to you, or them, and definitely not her.
The Shoe Shinning, Brown Nosing, Yes’am Folk:
I can.not.stand these black people in the office. They make me feel terribly uncomfortable especially when white people come around. They are always saying how grateful they are that they were given this job, giving their bitchy bosses strange compliments, and generally sniffing behind anyone from the supervisor to the CEO. This person usually takes their job way too seriously and is all around annoying.
The Been Here, Same Position, For Over 7+ Years:
A job is like a romantic relationship. After a certain time frame, you will be looking to move on to the next step like moving in together, marriage, buying a house, babies and so on. After a certain amount of time at a job, if you haven’t been promoted, it is time to break up. These folk are either not valued or do just enough to eek on by and are generally pissed the hell off when other folk are promoted ahead of them.
Cupcakes, warm blankets, good talking to; these black women (totally can be a guy) make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside like they have my best interest at heart and are always looking out for me.
Everything starts with “Girlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, let me tell you”. She, or he in some cases, knows all of everyone’s business and is willing to spill all of that hot tea.
I seriously can’t even with this person. They embody every single negative stereotype possible with black folk. And, I’ve talked about using stereotypes in our favor before but this person is just a walking billboard of negativity. You can use your imagination to fill in the blanks there.
The Social Butterfly:
This would be me but that is another conversation for another day. This person talks to everyone and makes everyone feel welcomed and like they are her bestie. She talks to the boss, the chef in the cafeteria, the chick next to her, I mean everybody.
This post was all in fun, not to be taken too seriously, just to get a good laugh and share with your friends, especially the ones that fit into one of the categories. What kind of folks do you work with?