Why I Don’t Care What Men Think About My Natural Hair

Before I decided to go natural, I had the average stragely shoulder length permed hair and, since it wasn’t nappy, it was passable with men at the very least. When I decided to go natural, I transitioned for about 4 months before deciding to big chop and I had about 2-3 inches of kinky, nappy hair that I had no clue how to take care of. During my transition, I had a “friend” that gave me a snippet of unsolicited advice:

“Are you sure you want to go natural? You will have to dress different and change the kind of men you date. The kind of men you go for don’t like that Afro-centric shit”.

So, I can only date the Maxwell types then, right?

Turned out that after I cut my hair, my confidence and love for my hair made my big chop, that was already fly, look that much better. I had absolutely zero problems with finding a man to date, love on, hold hands with, or anything else. And, while Maxwell is sexy to me, I had my fair share of all sorts of men interested in me.

Now that I am over 3 years into this natural hair lifestyle, and I recently cut my hair into a tapered fro, I still do not care about what a man has to say about my hair. It is my hair that I have to live with. If I am interested in a man who doesn’t like my hair because it is nappy, short, or isn’t “done” enough for their liking, then they are not the man for me. If I cared about what every single man thought about my hair and adjusted my hair for every dating situation I was in, I would end up bald; which is not my current goal.

If you are going natural or considering changing your hair in a major way and you are worried about what your dating life will look like or what your husband/boyfriend will think, just know this:

– If you like it, they will love it.

– Men will say they only like when women have a certain type of hair but they really have no clue what they’re talking about.

– If your relationship is dependent on what your hair choices are, there are bigger problems afoot.

Go natural, cut your hair, do it however you want and men will flock towards your glow.

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4 comments

  1. Exaaaaaaactly! I couldn’t have said it better myself! I got some similar unsolicited advice from a friend. Any man who likes me with my natural hair, I actually respected them more. I felt it was truly me that they liked, not anything else.

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  2. I recently had a friend tell me that her husband was having some serious issues with her choice to go natural after she has been relaxed for so long. She still wears a straight wig over her natural hair to please him. It can be really difficult for women who are in that situation so I feel for them.

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  3. When I cut my permed ends off, my husband thought I was crazy. A year later, I have a nice puff of jet black 4c hair and he loves it. More importantly, I love it. It takes time to build confidence to rock your natural hair especially after years of social conditioning. For any man who doesn’t like your natural hair, he ain’t the one.

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