Me: I’m sitting across the room in Starbucks sipping on pumpkin something or other.
You: Sitting on the other side of the room, minding your own business when my natural hair catches your eye. At that moment, the hustle and bustle of all of the coffee goers suddenly slows down and your eye zones in on my naps and you have an incredible urge to immerse your fingers into a fist full of naps.
Me: I too catch your eye and see the lust building up; lust with a mix of curiosity about what is growing out of my scalp. You approach.
Most, if not all, natural women have had this moment happen to them. Someone that is completely dumb struck by your hair and the urge to touch it is visible. Most respond with something like “Hell no you can’t touch my hair” or “Can I touch your hair?” Me, well I say “Go right ahead but, be gentle. Don’t want my hair to frizz”.
I say Yes to touching my hair because it is beautiful, it is soft, it is totally touchable, and the curiosity is understandable. While touching my hair without asking is completely forbidden, asking if you can feel my curls because they are so amazing, well why not. Here is a definitive guide to asking to touch my hair:
WARNING: This is to touch my hair only. Please do not use these techniques out in the world and expect the same results.
1. Start with a compliment.
2. Ask first! Ask always!
3. Touch the hair furthest from the scalp.
4. Don’t attempt to run your fingers through it. I will hurt you.
5. When the experience is over, allow 5-10 business days to pass before asking again.
6. Keep the touching to a 35 second max!
7. If you decide to ask other natural women if you can touch their hair and they vehemently say absolutely not, please do not use me as a reference point. i.e. “Well my black natural friend ____ let me touch her hair”.
8. It is likely our hair is different. Please refrain from voicing a comparison, at least to me. I probably do not care.
9. Please limit your use of the question “How do you get your hair to do that?”. The answer will probably go right over your head.
10. Finally, end the experience with another compliment even if it was the worst experience ever.
Natural hair is such a unique hair texture and is unlike any other around. People’s curiosity does not offend me and I am not sorry that it doesn’t. Sure, you can touch my hair as long as you follow those 10 rules. And, of course, if I have an unlikely urge to touch your hair in return, which again is unlikely, then you better say yes!
So, can I touch your hair?