Being Natural & Negativity Free
If you have a few months of being natural under your belt, you have probably heard a host of negative, ridiculous, and utterly unbelievable comments about your hair. During my 4 month transition, a particularly negative person told me that I would have to change my entire style, date different men, and go to different events if I were going to go natural. After all, I didn’t have “good hair” like Chilli from R&B girl group TLC.
I seriously couldn’t make this stuff up.
After I did my Big Chop, I did not change my style, events, and I had absolutely no trouble with dating any guy. I felt more confident and more beautiful than ever! But I digress. Negativity is the leading dream killer in the world and it doesn’t discriminate.
Negativity is typically spread by people who either want what you have, fear it, or don’t understand it. While natural hair is blazing a new trail for women of color, it is still not a norm. Everyday I hear a variation of the phrase, “Your hair is nice for you, but [hair flip] I could never go natural. I want my to ____” The blank is usually filled with something that natural hair does.
I want my hair to blow in the wind
I want my hair to be soft
I want my hair to be long
I want my hair to be easy
And so on..
When you are faced with negativity, simply use one of these quick phrases:
“Well, thank you for bringing that to my attention.”- This just acknowledges that you heard them.
“I can always get a press to achieve your style; how about you?”- Clearly this has a bit of sass but it makes your point.
“I have actually experienced chemically straightened hair AND natural hair. I prefer natural. What about you?”- This, is a combination of both the first and the second. A bit of snark and a smidge of acknowledgement.
Rock your natural kinks and continue to look fab while you do it! Negativity is just the fuel you need to keep on growin’!
What negativity have you heard?